‘I Find Your Lack of Ending Disturbing’ is part of a multi-post series where the writers of Some Nerd Girl share their Origin Stories – in other words, when and how did the nerdening happen?!

All nerds have an origin story – that moment when they realized they could not live without an action figure or seeing the next release of their favorite movie franchise. It just kind of snowballs from there. For some of us it’s early – like playing Wonder Woman or becoming obsessive about your rock collection when you’re five.

Mine was later than some of my fellow writers. A late-onset nerd, if you will. This is my origin story – how I became the science-fiction loving, costume-wearing, all American nerd that I am today.

I mean look at me. I am in my happy place.
I mean look at me. I am in my happy place!

When I was 12 years old, a pipe burst in my family’s bathroom over the Thanksgiving holiday. This event transformed my life in ways I still may not yet understand! Let me tell you how it all went down.

My dad is a do-it-yourself kind of guy, so naturally fixing this little problem was a challenge he readily accepted. He was not, however, under any illusion it would be a quick fix. So with two kids in the house with no school to attend all week, he decided it was better to send us off to our uncle’s house than to have us underfoot and complaining about trivial things like not having running water.

This stuff is pretty important, I guess?
This stuff is pretty important, I guess?

While my sister played Rollercoaster Tycoon all week; I was left somewhat adrift with no real concept of what to do. Recognizing this, my uncle asked if I wanted to watch this movie called “Star Wars”.

I had nothing better to do so I said yes.

He popped in a hand-labeled VHS tape – a recording from HBO – with modest video quality.

So, you know, kind of like this.
So, you know, kind of like this.

The opening credits rolled. The music was amazing. The action! The characters! Oh my god, this movie was amazing!

When it was over, I found out there were two more of these glorious movies. I insisted on watching them immediately.

I was all like, 'There's more? Hells yea it's my lucky day!'
I was all like, ‘There’s more? Hells yea it’s my lucky day!’ This was also, apparently, the beginning of my binge watching habit….

I remember being only slightly terrified of Darth Vader (/s), and really sad when Ben Kenobi died. I felt bad for Luke and wanted to be Han when I grew up. I thought Leia was a total badass and Jabba was disgusting. I was completely ready to apply for a position in the Rebel Alliance when I was old enough!

Leia. Let’s pause a moment to talk about this glorious woman. She was probably the first strong female lead I’d ever really seen in a movie – outside of April O’Neil from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Leia took charge, wasn’t afraid to risk her life, and didn’t take sh*t – even from the roguish, handsome and impossibly charming Han Solo. As you will find in many of my upcoming pieces, strong female leads are _very_ important when it comes to getting me engaged in a movie, book or show. Star Trek Voyager, for all it’s flaws, was the Trek that made me fall in love with Trek. Between Captain Janeway and Seven of Nine, I was in strong female lead heaven!

And, if we’re going to be visiting retrospect land for a moment, the fact I wanted to BE Han Solo and was really, super interested in Leia in a bikini probably should have clued me into some facts about myself. Nooo, that revelation took like… way too long.

I digress – my Star War experience really escalated when, like, Han was trapped in carbonite! And then the Empire was winning! Holy sh*t this could not stand. So when Return of the Jedi started at 90 MPH with Leia being a bad ass bounty hunter and Luke kicking some Rancor ass, I was in it to win it.

Imagine my utter dismay when, just as the Rebels were getting ready to destroy the partially constructed Death Star in Jedi, that the TV screen suddenly blinked to blue.

There was angry sputtering and everything...!
There was angry sputtering and everything…!

Alarmed, I hopped up and performed immediate troubleshooting. I knew from wearing out my copy of the Lion King how to revive a VHS tape from the brink of death.

I inspected the tape and realized it was out. The movie was too long and the VHS simply ran out of recording space. I found my uncle and brandished the tape at him, explaining the atrocity. He could offer me no comfort, and so I sulked for the rest of the week and racked my brain for how I might get my hands on a copy of this Star Wars trilogy I had just discovered.

Do people KNOW about Star Wars?!, my naive 12 year old brain wondered with some concern. As far as I knew, Star Wars was a little known cult trilogy that only my uncle possessed. Neither of my parents were particularly nerdy, or interested in this ‘Star Wars’ I was going on about. I was on my own to find my Holy Grail. There was no Amazon or eBay I had access to. There was Blockbuster – but I didn’t want to rent these movies. I needed to own them.

The struggle was real.
The struggle was real.

And so my quest began. If I had watched RotJ all the way through, I might have simply moved on with my life thinking – well, that was fun. But I hadn’t seen the ending – and that was unacceptable. Completely unaware of how this glorious trilogy ended, I was on a mission that made me expand my knowledge of science fiction – of what was out there.

First I found a copy of A New Hope – a single, original VHS before the other two movies were even out. As an aside; I have no idea where this eventually went – mom and dad, if you’re reading this and you know, I’d like that back!

Use this for reference.
Use this for reference.

I digress. I’d already seen A New Hope. This find was exciting but did not complete my mission. Finally, after searching row after row of the Wagon Wheel Flea Market, I found the complete Trilogy Set. I was ecstatic – beyond thrilled in a way I haven’t often felt since. This is probably what sealed the deal for me. As the endorphin rush hit me full force; I knew I wanted to hold onto the feeling forever. And it was this Star Wars thing that had given it to me. I was to forever associate science fiction with happiness.

Waiting to get home with it was excruciating. I wasted no time popping in the RotJ VHS tape and fast forwarding to the exact second where I had left off.

I basically missed the alternate view explosion...
I basically missed the alternate view explosion…

I soon realized I had not missed much. A glorious explosion, certainly that was exciting – all that remained after that was an Ewok bender and a funeral pyre. Nevertheless – it was closure! For both me and Luke Skywalker. Han got the girl and everyone lived happily ever after!


'Calm your shit' is how he probably approaches most of us nerds...
‘Calm your sh*t’ is how he probably approaches most of us nerds…


And that, my friends, is my origin story for becoming a nerd. It corresponded with the much anticipated Episode I release, and I was young enough to not be too critical of the prequels. My notoriety for being a nerd was widely known and (luckily!) accepted. Friends would bring me random Star Wars paraphernalia they’d gotten and I was the kid making lightsaber noises while dueling with an empty gift wrap tube given half a chance.

Real like photo of me in a home-made Jedi robe that I just HAD TO HAVE (thanks mom!)
Real life photo of me in a home-made Jedi robe that I just HAD TO HAVE (thanks mom!)

My friends and I actually attempted to choreograph the entire Duel of Fates fight scene in my side yard with two bokkens and a bo staff I had from my karate class. (Injuries were minimal)

This part was always the most fun!
This part was always the most fun!

I sought out like-minded people on this cool thing called the ‘internet’ and stumbled across a lovely website called “Star Wars Chicks.”

This place is still around!
This place is still around!

That was an important discovery because of two things:

  1. It made me realize that being a nerd and a girl was not a total anomaly
  2. I met my best friend of (now) 15 years there! Our adventures have been vast and included hitting each other with sticks and being there for one another during the best and worst times.

Being involved in this online community allowed me to express myself honestly and enjoy my passions without reserve. I could wax poetic about how wonderful and life-changing the internet is, but that is a topic for another blog post!

And so it’s true; a pipe busting in my family home at the age of 12 was the catalyst for my nerd-revelation that ultimately helped shape the smart, witty and of course talented person I am today. Thanks random catastrophe!

Eve2Eve is the founder of Some Nerd Girl and the author of urban fantasy novel Children of the Fallen. She has been writing since the age of 13 and has been flying her nerd flag for the past 16 years. You can visit her website at www.somenerdgirl.com and look up her works of fiction on Amazon.