I’m going to be real with you all, when I heard that Alan Rickman had died, I was mad. I skipped right over sadness and landed squarely in anger. This was absolutely UNACCEPTABLE.
Why?
Because I’m not ready to live in a world without Alan Rickman. I’m mad because, despite fame and fortune, cancer still managed to steal yet another person from this planet. I’m furious that we spend our time and resources on so many things that don’t matter when we could be trying to find a way to preserve life – especially a life that has brought so much greatness to the world.
People may feel I’m overstating that. I mean, he was just an actor, right?
First of all, let me say it’s sad when anyone dies of cancer. I lost one of my most impactful mentors to cancer. I am good friends with cancer survivors who are constantly looking over their shoulders, forced to worry about having to do battle once again with the despicable affliction.
But make no mistake, Alan Rickman was a genuine treasure and he will always be a treasure to me.
In honor of Rickman, I wanted to take some time to write about the roles I enjoyed the most, and what they meant to me.
Dogma as THE METATRON
Kevin Smith’s Dogma came out in 1999. I was thirteen years old, and it was one of the first movies that made me question… so many things. Alan Rickman as the Metatron was a huge contributing factor to my inevitable understanding that the world operates in a gray area. As the Metatron, Rickman plays a discontented angel who wants nothing more than to get drunk and forget his worries. Because as an angel in a world where God’s gone MIA, things are stressful and there are plenty of worries to forget about.
I was instantly taken by his straight-faced humor and absolutely in love with his otherworldly, yet still somehow down-to-earth perspective on the shenanigans that unfold. I may have seen Rickman in other movies (Sense and Sensibility), but this was the movie that made me fall in FOREVER LOVE with Rickman. His point of view made me question MY point of view. And what if things COULD be different than how we’ve always been told they are?
What if, what if, what if…
Galaxy Quest as Alexander Dane aka “Dr. Lazarus”
Just when you thought Rickman couldn’t nail a more perfect comedy role than THE METATRON, along comes Galaxy Quest, released the same year as Dogma. 1999 was a damn good year. Rickman’s role in Galaxy Quest makes me wonder if, one day, someone walked up to him and asked, “Would you like to play yourself in a sci-fi movie?”
In GQ, Rickman plays a classical actor who took one role in a science fiction show in the 80s and got pigeon holed into that role for, seemingly, forever. At first glance, it would appear that he resents this kind of notoriety, but it quickly becomes apparent how jealous he is of his co-star, Jason Nesmith, played by Tim Allen.
Eventually Rickman’s character embraces his pseudo personality and, as a result, finds belonging, purpose and passion. On the surface, it seems pretty simple – and it is. The message is… embrace who you are!
This was HUGE for me. I waivered in my early adulthood sometime later where I felt like I shouldn’t be as nerdy as I wanted to be. That is made me undesirable and unmarketable to things like relationships or a career.
You might have noticed that I have, as of late, re-embraced by nerdy tendencies. And it feels great. Just like Alexander Dane recognizing how much of a part Dr. Lazarus was of him. I have all the things he did at the end of that movie – belonging, purpose, and passion!
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy as Marvin the paranoid robot
We didn’t get to see you at all in this movie, Alan, but you were there in spirit in the form of Marvin. All we needed was your voice to know it was you – and more than that, to feel that Marvin was a person, with feelings and fears and a creeping, almost undetectable sense of humor. Marvin represented the voice in all of our heads saying we can’t do things, and the universe is a big, bad place that no sane person should want to live in.
But Marvin marches forward. He doesn’t stop. In stark contrast to his depressive mood, he is a reminder of what we’re all capable of – we all have the capacity for greatness, and for perseverance. It’s a dichotomy that Rickman pulls off perfectly, and Adam Douglas, I’m sure, would have been proud.
Harry Potter as Severus Snape
Oh, Severus. Of course, we cannot overlook the contributions of J. K. Rowling in the creation of Severus Snape, but we have to give full marks to Alan Rickman for making the character come to life in the most glorious, ominous and heartbreaking way. I had seen the first three Harry Potter movies before I started reading the books (I know, it was wrong and I take full blame for slacking on getting into this series) – so when I started reading, the image of Snape was one and the same with a black-haired Alan Rickman.
I hated Snape, I despised him, I wondered about him, I started to feel bad for him… and then I mourned for him. It was an elegant and emotional journey that both Rowling and Rickman took me on.
I will share this one, painful regret – that Snape did not get enough character exposition and progression in The Halfblood Prince and Deathly Hallows movies. We know from the books how Harry sees firsthand how difficult Severus’ childhood was, and how deeply he felt for Lilly, and the anguish in his decision to join Voldemort. Given half a chance, Rickman would have tore our hearts out countless times over if more screen time had been dedicated to his journey.
For me, Dogma and Harry Potter are bookends in my love for Alan Rickman’s work – and in both, he portrayed the perfect mixture of what it means to be human and fallible – though in both he plays larger-than-life roles. Angel and Wizzard. Still human. Still one of us. Still showing us what it means to walk this earth and navigate the trenches.
You were taken from us too soon, Mr. Rickman. You will be missed. You will be mourned. But more than anything, you will be remembered.
Eve is the founder of Some Nerd Girl and the author of urban fantasy novel Children of the Fallen and science fiction novel Colony One. She has been writing since the age of 13 and has been flying her nerd flag for the past 16 years. Fandoms include Star Wars, Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica. Basically if it has ‘star’ in it, she’ll give it a shot.
Some Nerd Girl 
8 Burning Questions I Have After Watching Star Wars: The Force Awakens [Huge Spoilers, duh]
So, to reiterate. GIANT SPOILERS AHEAD!
Also, a disclaimer; I really enjoyed Star Wars TFA – but as a nerd, I feel compelled, like many of my nerd brethren, to pick it to itty bitty pieces. That being said, I have some burning questions that I really hope will be addressed in the following movies. Many of you know that my nerd origin story is deeply influenced by Star Wars, and so these movies are very near and dear to my heart. And also very easy for me to obsess over. And with great obsession comes great ability to over-analyze!
And yes, I know there is a book, and a whole host of other references I could probably source to answer a lot of my questions but I am a busy professional, damn it, and it’s way more fun to speculate. Also, I want it on the pretty big screen. Anyhow, let’s get this listicle started.
1. Where the hell is Jakku, why is it important and what is with all these desert planets?
Despite the fact ‘Jakku’ was right there in the screen crawl as this movie kicked off, it took me WAY too long to realize this planet was not Tatooine. Mostly because I kept wondering why no one was calling it Tatooine.
Okay, so I typed Jakku into Google and evidently it’s a far out planet where people thought they could avoid the Empire on. Guess they were wrong. I still fully expect JJ to address why Jakku is where we find our loveable Rey.
2. The Big One: Who are Rey’s parents? And why would they abandon someone so awesome?
So it’s got to be Han/Leia or Luke/Mara(??), right? If this is a Solo, we have to assume she was stolen from her parents as opposed to willfully hidden by them. They clearly didn’t hide Ben, although I think we can all agree they really, really, really should have.
3. Why does the Republic know nothing about the Starkiller Base?
Come on guys, you’re losing your touch. Looking at you, Leia. Are you telling me that until Finn, a sanitation Stormtrooper, showed up, you knew nothing about the Starkiller Base? The Rebel Alliance was on top of it back in the day, stealing Death Star plans and getting the drop on the half-constructed Death Star. And you know this is the Empire’s / First Order’s go-to strategy.
Thank goodness Sanitation Man showed up! Forget wanting this explained in future movies. I wanted this explained in this movie.
4. Also, why is a sanitation Stormtrooper being sent to Jakku in a hunt for information about Luke Skywalker?
First of all, I have no idea how close the Starkiller Base is to Jakku. I also have no idea if that thing can even travel through space. How do you propel a planet? Actually, there’s a lot of questions I have about the Starkiller Base, but that is one thing I’ll allow myself to suspend my disbelief on. We needed a big threat. It’ll do.
Back to my original point; the Finn character while enjoyable in many ways… I am baffled by in terms of overall involvement. Also, I wonder why the brainwashing had less of an effect on him. He’s probably Force sensitive but it doesn’t seem to present in any particular way, except for maybe being drawn to the ‘Light.’ He immediately runs to Rey when he thinks she’s in trouble. For that, your nonsensical involvement is acceptable.
5. Why does Han think he’s a good smuggler?
I refer here to his line to Leia, “I just went back to doing what I was good at” or something along those lines. Han. Buddy. I love you, bro, but you are not a good smuggler. You’re terrible at smuggling. Every time we’ve seen you try to smuggle something on screen, you fail. You should have stuck to plucky Rebel capers. THAT you were good at.
6. Who is Space Hitler and why is Kylo Ren not Force choking the shit out of him?
There is an odd tension between Kylo Ren and General Hux that make it feel like they are both trying to one-up each other in order to impress Hologram Man (Snoke? I’m still learning these new people’s names). Hux’s wide-eyed fanaticism seemed like overkill, and I was really enjoying the prospect of Ren having a Force temper tantrum that resulted in many loss of limbs. Sadly, it never came. Ren was completely unaffected by Hux’s not-so-quiet insanity, and I want to know more about that dynamic.
7. What messed Ben up so much?
I don’t buy that Snoke seduced Ben to the Dark Side and That-Was-That. Anakin lost his mother, grew up a slave, was constantly denied in his aspirations as a Jedi, was defeated by Obi-Wan, left to die, and then informed upon his painful recovery that his one true love was dead. Granted, I think his seduction to the Dark Side was a little slap-dash as well (before the limb-loss and news of Padme’s death), but he would have never, I repeat never have killed a family member.
So I want to know what messed up Ben. And it better be believable and relatable. Because if JJ just killed off Han in order to make a ‘bigger, badder villain’ I’m going to be forced to write many a strongly worded articles about my discontent.
Be afraid. Be very afraid!
8. Did Ben regret killing his father?
Please, please let this be a featured struggle in the future movies. I noticed that when he is deciding if he will kill Han or not, there’s a reflection in each of his eyes – one red, one blue. I noticed this on my second viewing. And I thought to myself… wow, well done! I bet both reflections will be red when his Lightsaber activates.
But they weren’t. They were both BLUE. This, combined with how erratic and sloppily he fights Rey, indicates to me that he might have realized the instant he killed his father what a terrible, terrible mistake he had made. Perhaps instead of feeling the wash of the Dark Side fully embracing him, the Light lashed out and filled him with well deserved regret.
Overall, I loved this movie, and I am so very much looking forward to more. I’m unleashing my thoughts and questions here, in this magical place called the internet, in hopes I might get my wish of knowledge in 2017. (JJ reads all these, right??)
Do you have unresolved questions after watching Star Wars: The Force Awakens? If so, leave them in the comments and we’ll speculate together!